Inside the Wolf
by nani-lika
Summary: Remus is breaking down, feeling like he is completely alone, but someone comes to his rescue.


"For this project I will be selecting your partners," their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher told them. From somewhere near the back of the classroom two audible groans could be heard. James Potter and Sirius Black were almost certain they wouldn't be working together this time and it greatly upset them. Remus Lupin on the other hand really didn't care all the much, he just hoped that his partner would be intelligent enough so that he wouldn't have to do all the work. Their teacher began reading off the list of partners as Remus half listened, waiting for his name.

"Pettigrew-Evans."

"Potter- Abbot"

"Black-Kingsley."

Remus listened to Sirius complain that he'd rather work with the good-looking girl in the front row, while James warned Peter not to act stupid around Lily.

"Lupin-Pruette"

Remus looked up and around the room when he heard his name. Across from him a girl with long brown hair met his eyes and nodded. He knew her name was Lisa, he also knew that they had almost every class together since their first year in Hogwarts. However, he had never gotten a chance to talk to her. Suddenly Sirius raised his hand.

"Professor, I'm allergic to Kingsley, can I work with a blonde girl instead?"

The class laughed.

"This is a N.E.W.T. level class, Mr. Black. You'll work with who I have chosen."

Remus shot Sirius a look full of mockery as their teacher told them to pair up and discuss their projects. Remus left his group of friends and went over to his partner. When he reached her, she smiled up at him. He froze for a second, amazed at the site of a girl smiling at him. It had been a very long time since he had gotten so much as a "Hello" from a female.

"Any ideas on what project you want to do?" She asked when he finally seated himself.

"I was thinking about the Patronus charm." He told her.

"Really? I was thinking the same thing. Would you like to meet in the library after dinner to start work on it?" She asked him as the bell to end class rang.

"That sounds perfect." Remus said to her, she smiled in reply and he couldn't help but gaze at that smile a little longer than he should have.

"Come on, Moony. Let's go!" James called to him from the door. Remus walked over and left the classroom with his group of friends.

"Monday night was sure exciting," Sirius said in a hushed voice. Remus chose to block him out. Sure, it was exciting for Sirius, he didn't have to go through a painful transformation. Usually the few days after the full moon left Remus feeling thoroughly depressed. He always attributed it to the aching bones and sore muscles but really it was closer to self pity. But he would never let his friends see this. Remus was strong and usually not extremely emotional, but everyone is entitled to their breakdowns every now and then.

The group made their way to the Gryffindor common room where they lounged and chatted until it was time for dinner. They then went to the Great Hall and took their seats among the many Gryffindors at their house table.

"What do you think about sneaking out to Hogsmeade and getting a few drinks from The Three Broomsticks after dinner?" James was asking in between bites of steak and kidney pie.

Sirius nodded his agreement enthusiastically, mouth full of mash potatoes. Remus shook his head.

"I can't, I'm meeting with my partner to start working on our Defense project."

With that he rose from the table a bid his friends goodbye. He went up to the common room to fetch his books and then headed to the library. He chose a spot nearest the Dark Arts books and sat down to wait. He hadn't been there long when Lisa showed up. She had traded her black Hogwarts robes for a Muggle sweatshirt and tied up her long hair into a messy ponytail, her book bag hung over her shoulder.

She sat down and brought out some parchment, her quill, and three books. Remus looked at the titles and smiled.

"I'm we're in the same mind-set," he said pulling out four of his own books and his own parchment and quill. "I had hoped to be partnered with someone who possessed some intellect."

She gave a shy smile. "I'm flattered that you deem me worthy. How long do you think it will take us to learn the spell?"

Soon they had their project outlined and a schedule of when they wanted things done. They then let themselves drift off, talking to each other about everything. Remus found Lisa to be very interesting and he found that he wanted to know everything about her. She seemed to be especially interested in him also.

They walked back to the Gryffindor common room together and said goodnight at the bottom of their dormitory stairs, planning to meet again the day after tomorrow. Remus entered his dorm to find it empty, James, Sirius and Peter must still be out. He undressed and slid into his four poster bed. Laying there alone in the dark all the happiness Remus had gotten from Lisa's bright smile and laugh seemed to drain away. He now felt very alone and sad. He forced himself to keep back tears when he heard his friends come in. He pretended to be asleep.

The next day after dinner Lisa was walking back to Gryffindor tower when suddenly Peeves showed up and tried to throw dinner rolls stolen from the Great Hall at her. She did an about-face and headed in the direction of the stone courtyard.

Remus sat alone in the stone courtyard, he was sitting in a shadowed corner avoiding his friends and having one of his small breakdowns. Suddenly the doors leading into the castle burst open and Lisa came running out, cursing Peeves under her breath. Remus froze, hoping that she wouldn't see him. But...

"Remus?" She said coming closer to him. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"Its not very nice to lie to your partner." She said, standing in front of him with her hands on her hips, she noticed that his eyes were red and puffy, as if he'd been crying. Remus gave a small chuckle at her comment. She sat down next to him.

"What's wrong?"

Remus willed himself to put on his happy mask, but for some reason he couldn't. He didn't say anything and his look became sadder.

"Okay," Lisa said taking his hand and holding it in hers. She then moved closer to him and rested her chin on his shoulder. "We can talk about something else."

Remus suddenly felt as if he could tell her everything that was wrong with him. How his body ached from transforming, how he felt alone because no one understood what he was going through, and most importantly he wanted to tell her his secret.

She began to talk about books that she read, telling him tales of heroines. The warmth of her body at his side and the feeling of their intertwined hands resting softly in his lap was, to his surprise, comforting to him. Her voice was warm, friendly, and soft in his ear. When she was finished telling him about an adventure of a female knight, to her surprise Remus smiled at her. He opened his mouth to thank her but before he could she spoke.

"I recognize the look of someone who is lonely, I see it a lot," she said. "What I don't understand, is why someone who is a member of the most popular group at this school, would have that look." She was smiling.

"Why do you see that look so often?" He asked.

"I think we should go inside, its getting chilly." She told him.

"I'm glad you were here to make me feel better." He said giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

She stood and pulled him up. "Come on, we have work to do."

The made their way to their common room to grab their book bags and then went down to the library.


End file.
